A hard day’s night

Today was A Day

Overslept? Did. Parking spot? Taken. Job application? Denied. Rain? Poured. Umbrella? Leaked. Friend request? Ignored. Borrowed VHS tape? Unrewound. Library book? Overdue. Important mail? Lost in transit. Date suggestion? Noped. Safety backup? Obsolete. Phone battery? Drained. That really good tweet? One fav. The attempted joeks? Flat. Notre Dame? Burned. Evening meal? Also burned. Relaxing computer game? Sudden unknown unspecified error

Aye, today was A Day

Suddenly, it happened. Ten kilos of unrelenting affection flomped atop our protagonist, purring with unprecedented vigor, as if to say: despair not, for there are still cats, right here, right now

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The rarest of finds

He couldn’t believe his ears. Was this actually happening? Had he heard correctly? Was this the thing in itself, unabashed, without layers and layers of intermediaries? Was this the golden opportunity of a lifetime simply appearing, despite remaining elusive for so many years? Was this the end of the long search?

He knew he had to handle this carefully. One wrong move could squander the whole thing, leaving him back at square one again. Cautiously, as gently as possible, he phrased the question that would allow him to talk to an actual, real-life youtube commenter:

“So, how’s it going?”

You have but to ask

“Could you pass the salt?”

“Actually, I’d much rather you and I run away on a romantic escapade, eloping into days and nights of adventures unknown and probably best left untold. We could explore the world and get to know each other as we’ve never known anyone else before. Imagine – Paris, Rome, Prague, big cities and tiny villages, and trains and candle-lit dinners and possibly also the holding of hands in the moonlight”

“I mean, I’m down with it if you are”

“We should probably finish this meal first. But then, off we go”

“With a spring in our step”

The things that go to make up a life

It felt somber, being in the old family home. Somber, and heavy. Suddenly becoming a generation older was not on the agenda, but it happened anyway

Together, the siblings looked through all the old things. Most things they remembered from a childhood past, while some were new additions from a time after that. The sum total suggested a story of which they were sometimes a part, sometimes not. Photographs of them as kids – all those years ago – next to medicinal implements of unknown function

And boxes

They’d never known what was in them. Especially the ones with the strange locks on them. But if there ever was a time to find out, now would be it

Present tense

His was a life of burdens. Everything came to him as an additional entry on the to-do list, something that had to be managed, another ball to keep ajuggled. Finishing any one thing did not bring joy or satisfaction, only the minor relief of being ever so slightly less burdened. He did not look forward to anything, or aspire, or indeed think much about the future at all. His attention was ever on the immediate present, multitasking between what seemed to be ever renewed burdens. In a rare moment of quiet reflection, he concluded that successes fade while failures accumulate.

Completing the circuit

“Y’know” one of the men sitting around the table began, “it’s the strangest thing. There is this dog showing up every evening, and I’ve taken to giving it some pats and something to eat. Don’t know where it comes from or where it goes, but it always comes back”

“Hold on” one of the others said, “I have one too”

“Me too” the two others said, albeit not in unison

“Could it be” the first man pondered, “that it’s the same dog all around?”

After a short burst of comparison, they concluded that it indeed was so. The mystery of origin and destination remained, however

Change is everything

“This sentence is not true”

He had her attention now. Her big eyes grew even bigger as she contemplated the contradiction. Either the sentence was true, in which case it was a lie, which made it true again. Or it was false, which made it true, which made it false again. This was too much to take in at once, the collapse of categories into an infinite regression from which there was no escape. Truth is meaningless now, and –

She meowed disinterestedly, and went to find another napping spot. One without philosophers waking her up with strange mouth noises